


Competitive Confessions

by ChasetheSun2



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Church Sex, Confessional Sex, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Finger Sucking, Hand & Finger Kink, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamory, Public Masturbation, Public Sex, Religion Kink, Teasing, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:18:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasetheSun2/pseuds/ChasetheSun2
Summary: The pastor's eyes went wide as he realized what was going on. The couple grinned at him from their seats. He was, without a doubt, being tag-teamed by the most playfully competitive couple on the planet.God help him.





	Competitive Confessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilasCaptor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilasCaptor/gifts).



> This fic is entirely self-indulgent.  
> But also hand kinks because _I know you like that._ :)

The new pastor in training was, to put it shortly,  _ absolutely gorgeous. _

Latula watched him as he spoke, his voice thick and soft, sonorous. He talked with his hands; beautiful, delicate-looking but strong as he gripped the bible, the pulpit, his own crucifix. His head was always held high, unusually proud for a servant of God, speaking with nothing but fantastical devotion for his Lord.

Even in church Latula squirmed in her seat, wondered what his beautiful, freckled brown skin would look like between her pale thighs. How his fingers would feel, exploring the deepest, hidden reaches of her skin. How his full lips would taste when occupied with hers, instead of talking – and oh, how delicious his moans would sound, what precious noises she could draw from him--

“Tulip.”

Latula was rudely pulled from her fantasy by a poke in the arm. She looked over at her boyfriend, who smirked widely at the scowl on her face and snickered.

“I know he's hot, but if you get any wetter you'll soak the seat,” He said, not even bothering to be quiet. Several scandalized pairs of eyes turned towards them and her cheeks flushed, putting her hands over his impish expression and shushing him.

“Tuna, baby, cmon, tease me later,” She hissed, but she knew he was right. She was squirming in her seat, biting her lip, her cheeks flushed. Mituna reached over to take her hand and it took all her self-control not to put it between her thighs. The way he snickered quietly, he most definitely knew. She knew he wasn’t going to escape his teasing later - her words had been taken as an offer, not as a complaint.

“Bet I can get him hard,” Mituna murmured as they stood to line up for Communion, using the noise of feet shuffling to disguise his voice. 

“Cannot.” Latula countered. It took a moment for his words to sink in but when they did, her eyes went wide and her mouth opened in a shocked ‘o’. “Oh,  _ hell _ no. Tuna, you can’t - we’re in  _ church! _ ”

“Can and will.” Mituna only seemed to take that as a challenge, nudging her in front of him in the line. “Watch and learn, Tulip.”

Latula huffed at him but went up anyway, taking her Communion and trying very,  _ very _ hard not to think of what else she could do on her knees in front of the beautiful pastor. Her cheeks were flushed as she got up, straightening her skirt carefully. She stepped away, waiting for her boyfriend on the sidelines, but nothing could prepare her for the sight that waited for her when she turned around to look at him.

Mituna was down on his knees for Communion, like usual, but that wasn’t what had Latula’s - and the pastor’s - cheeks aflame. He had a devilish look on his face as he took the wafer, but before the pastor could pull away, Mituna took his fingers into his mouth - and  _ sucked. _

The pastor fought to keep his mouth closed. Latula could tell he wanted to speak or say something, his cheeks red, eyes wide in surprise, but all that came out was a wanting little inhale of breath followed by a groan. Mituna pulled away, winking, and smirked as he stood up. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his dresspants  and rejoined Latula, whose jaw had all but dropped. 

“Score Mituna one, Tulip zero,” He said, chuckling softly. Latula didn’t care about that. She grabbed his hand. It was time to go.

Latula tried to be discreet as possible as she all but dragged Mituna to the confessional after everyone else had left. There was no time for foreplay or teasing, they were in public and she was already soaking wet, so she straddled him and tugged down his pants just enough to free his length. She lifted her skirt and he glimpsed underneath, snickering. 

“No panties, babe? In church? Kinky.”

Latula silenced him with a wanting kiss and he groaned into her mouth as she slid down onto him with one smooth push. She was quiet, breaths heavy as she rode him rough and fast, fingers between her thighs and rubbing quickly. 

It didn’t take either of them very long, eager as they were, before they were close to climax. Soon enough Mituna was gripping her hips, face buried in her breasts and sucking teasingly at a nipple, thrusting himself into her as hard as he could. He groaned into her breast as he came, and Latula wasn’t long after, whimpering his name. She leaned against his shoulder and panted afterwards, trying to get her brain to switch back online. Mituna couldn’t stop giggling and she looked down at him from her vantage point with a solid pout on her face. 

“What?”

“We did it in a church.” Mituna giggled again and Latula rolled her eyes, petting his hair. He pulled out of her and gave the hickey he’d left right over her nipple an apologetic kiss and a light suck. “Sorry! It’s funny - you didn’t wear panties to church and I gave the pastor a fake bee-jay--”

Latula blushed slightly and groaned, hiding her face. Mituna cackled.

“And you  _ liked _ it.” He teased.

“Shut up.”

“Should I add ‘fucking in a church’ to the list of kinks?” 

“ _ Baaaaabe! _ ”

*

The next Sunday is much more of the same. This time, however the pastor has his eyes on Mituna from the very beginning, watching his every move even as he speaks. For once, Mituna is on his best behavior - aside, of course, from the wicked grin on his face. He winked and licked his lips as he met the pastor’s eye, and the pastor blushed and stuttered on his sermon. Mituna snickered softly.

Latula huffed. She was not to be outdone. Some part of her was utterly flabbergasted at what she was doing - coming onto a preacher, in a church, as a competition with her  _ boyfriend _ as to who could seduce him first? Utterly ridiculous. Then again, maybe Mituna had a point about the church kink…

That part of her didn’t stop her from looking up at said pastor as she knelt in front of him for their usual Communion. She’d worn her darkest lipstick, red as sin and blood and wrapped in innocent smiles. The pastor offered her the wafer - and her lips enveloped his fingers. She looked up to him with clear lust on her face and was satisfied to see it mirrored back at her, underneath all that shock. 

His fingers were soft under her lips and around her tongue, as if he took great care of his hands, but the tips of his fingers were roughened with work.  _ Writer’s hands. _ He tasted sweet, like candy. Cherries, maybe. Her mouth left a ring of red around his fingers as she pulled away, licking her lips as if she were licking cum from them. A soft, playful kiss was left at his trembling fingertips and she stood, straightening out her dress.

The pastor stared. His cheeks were aflame once again, showing off those pretty freckles splattered over his face. Latula gave him another sweet smile and murmured a quiet ‘thank you, Father’, glancing down. 

That was a definite twitch of his cock that she saw under his cassock. She looked at Mituna;  _ score one-one, Captor. Your move. _

Mituna didn’t even try to retaliate. He’d been too stunned by her actions to do anything other than stare and thank any god listening that he had someone like  _ that _ for a girlfriend. He watched her sashay back to the front seat and his brow crinkled; they hadn’t been sitting there before. She sat down - and both Mituna and the pastor let out twin groans of want. 

Latula wasn’t wearing panties, yet again. The way she was sitting, only Mituna and the pastor could see. She winked and waved at them.

“Dude,” Mituna looked at the other man, who looked slightly affronted at being called ‘dude’. It was an afterthought, however, still watching Latula. 

A polite cough from behind them reminded Mituna to kneel and take his own communion, this time not pulling any tricks - Latula had done that enough for both of them. Once he was done he walked back beside his girlfriend and sat down, taking her hand. Mirrored innocent smiles were sent the pastor’s way from the two of them and Latula couldn’t help a soft giggle. 

Seeing this, the pastor's eyes went wide as he realized what was going on. The couple grinned at him from their seats. He was, without a doubt, being tag-teamed by the most playfully competitive couple on the planet.

God help him.

*

Kankri Vantas was a good, pure man.  _ Was. _

Kankri Vantas was also being tormented by two tricksters with sweet smiles and hot mouths.

He tried his best to ignore them, he really did, Sunday after Sunday. He was a good, pure man, with pure intentions and a pure mind. He most definitely did  _ not _ feel the stirrings of lust whenever one of his temptors knelt before him, took his fingers into their mouth with such hunger in their eyes, as if they wanted something more. He was a good, pure man who was not troubled mid-homily by their devilish smiles. A good, pure man who did not spend his nights awake and fighting off temptation at the thought of their full, soft mouths, warm and wet. His body ached at the thought of their beautiful eyes, sparkling with sin and promise and offering; their bodies, pressed tightly to one another, always in tandem, his traitor mind imagining them pressed up against him on either side, hot and claiming and  _ his... _

No, he had to resist. He was a good, pure man, after all. A man of God.

Who was not at all tempted when he heard soft, low moans coming from the Confessional one sunny Sunday, after everyone else had rushed out to enjoy the summer heat.

He most definitely did not pause.  _ He froze. _

He most definitely did not take a moment to consider.  _ He bit his lip, clenched his fists; he did exactly that. _

And God save him, he most definitely did not open the door to the other side of the confessional.

_ (He did, in fact, do exactly that.) _

The sounds and movement from the other side stopped as Kankri closed the door. Through the grating in the wall between them he could see that it was the tricksters, the couple that had been tempting him at communion for over two months now. They looked back, and he realized that they, too, could see him. Twin hungry smiles lit up their faces. Kankri's blood ran south, his mouth going dry. He could see her skirt lifted, just a bare glimpse of freckled backside, the teasing flash of the other man's cock sheathed halfway inside her. He swallowed as it fully sunk in what he'd walked into.

“Are you here to watch us confess, Father?” The curly-haired man breathed, watching him with one bluish-white eye, one brown. He'd seen them before, staring up at him hungrily when the other was down on his knees at communion. Now, they glittered with eagerness, slowly rolling his hips up into the redhead, knowing Kankri could barely see, knowing that he could hear the soft gasp. “Or you wanna confess a few of your own?”

The redhead seemed to catch on and she giggled, tugging her skirt above her waist, raising her hips. Kankri's cock twitched to life as she gave him a good view of her round, full backside, the lips of her sex stretched taut around the other man's cock. He groaned, their words and their visual serving to light the fire he'd been so desperate to quell.

There was a moment of silence between them as the two waited for his answer, knowing what he'd say. He already knew what he'd say, as well. Kankri put his head back against the wall. His cock strained against his briefs and he could not believe he was here, now, doing this – considering doing this.

And yet here he was, wanting, splayed out in the Lord's house with a full erection, desperate and wishing he could be on the other side of the confessional and joining them.

“I...” He began, and there was a subtle shift in the other room as the two turned their full attention to him. “..I want to confess.”

In the other room the tricksters smiled. The girl giggled, sinking herself back down on the boy, pulling twin moans from the both of them. Kankri gripped at the pants of his robes and watched them with half lidded eyes, biting his lip and trying his damnest not to grind his hand against himself outside his clothes. The boy spotted his clenched hands and smirked.

“Dirty, dirty Father,” He murmured, reaching up one hand to cup the girl's breast, taking a nipple into his mouth. She gave a soft, high-pitched sound and reached up, tangling her fingers into his hair and holding him there. He teased it with light scrapes of his teeth that made her jolt and keen with pleasure. “Sinful Father. Confess. Tell us, how long. How long you wanted this.”

“Wanted us,” The girl added.

God save him. It was taking all his self-control not to undo his robes, brush aside his cassock and stroke himself to their voices, right there in the confessional. He took a shaky breath.

“Since the first time you came up,” He whispered, breaths choked on lust that he wouldn't let himself slake. They echoed off the wooden walls of the confessional and back at him, his own voice teasing him with his own want. “When you walked up to me and knelt, and – and my fingers--”

“You taste good,” The boy grinned and leaned against the back of the seat, panting and gripping Her hips tightly as she began to ride him in earnest. “We wanna taste more of you, Father.”

“Want to taste us, Father?” The girl murmured. Her hands gripped at the boy's shoulders as she balanced herself, picking up speed. “Do we taste sweet, in your head, Father?”

There was no mistaking her allusion. Kankri shuddered and leaned his head back against the wall again, eyes slipping shut as his resolve broke. 

“Sweeter than wine,” He panted. “I want – I want you both, I want it so badly I've been dreaming about it--” His fingers tugged his briefs out of the way, pushing his pants down and unbuttoning his cassock, brushing it aside. He gripped himself tightly and gave a shuddering moan, clapping his hands over his mouth so no one heard. He could see the boy's eyes on him over the girl's shoulder and the hungry smile on his face.

“Father's got a thick dick, Tulip,” He murmured. So Tulip was her name?

The boy kept watching him and Kankri couldn't help but blush. He almost closed his legs, then thought better of it and spread them wider so the others could see. The boy's eyes glittered.

“When we fuck you,” He said, beginning to pant. “I want your cock in my ass.”

The girl shifted, turning around in her boyfriend's lap so she could ride him and watch Kankri at once. Her eyes lit up when she saw him, spread wide and whorish, watching them both with a desperate expression. She watched him through the grating, saw his hand gliding along his cock - Mituna had been right, she was thick, and Kankri watched her lick her lips and swallow in clear need. His cock twitched in his hand, remembering what those lips felt like around his fingers. 

“I want to fuck him.” She said, voice breaking as a tremor ran through her at the thought. “Tell us what you want, Father, what you dream about – do you fuck us, Father? Do you go down on us?”

Kankri tossed his head back and groaned at the image the girl was painting for him. “Yes,” He breathed, eyes shutting for a moment, opening every once so often to see the two of them, watch them move through the small grating. “I dream - I dream about being between the two of you, one - one in my lap, one...behind me - oh, God…”

“I bet you’re all pent up,” The boy’s voice was beginning to stutter as ‘Tulip’ rode him harder, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Bet you got a lot of spunk saved up, gonna fuck it into Tulip, or me, ain’tcha?”

“Yes - oh,” Kankri gave a high-pitched whine and shuddered, gripping the seat so as not to come. “I dreamed - dreamed about this, about watching you, I confess, I want this, I want you--”

Tulip’s breath began to shake as Kankri came more and more undone. “He likes using his mouth to talk,” She said, hips rolling against the boy’s with more energy now. Her fingers slipped between her thighs and Kankri got a front-row view as she began to spread the lips of her cunt, rubbing her middle finger in slow circles against her clitoris. Her thighs clenched and Kankri had to stop or he was going to come, right then and there, imagining her sex clenching around him. “Wonder if he can use his mouth to eat me out - fuck, cmon, Tune, don’t - don’t stop--”

_ Tune and Tulip.  _

“Tie his hands with his rosary,” Tune panted, face buried into Tulip’s shoulder, hands cupping and squeezing her breasts. He didn’t care who heard him; all three of them were long past the point of caring who heard. He moved his legs wider, reached one hand down to grip Tulip’s hips, and  _ slammed _ himself into her, making her cry out and toss her head back. “Use them as beads, do you want that, Father? Walk around with them in your ass until one of us can fuck you proper-”

Kankri shuddered at the idea, the utter sin of carrying a symbol of his God inside him. He was going to come handsfree if Tune kept going. 

“Yes,” He groaned out, “Please, don’t make me wait, I need - I need you both--”

“Do we absolve him of his sins, Tuney?” Tulip asked, giggling. Her thighs were beginning to shake and Tune’s thrusts were getting more desperate and out of time. “Poor thing, looks like he really needs to come…”

“Do you wanna come, Father?” Tune asked, his voice almost a growl. “Do you wanna be forgiven?” Kankri nodded, stroking himself again, hips rutting up, panting and voice cracking as he spoke.

“Yes - please, I need to come, forgive me, I need it, need you--” 

Tune and Tulip looked at one another, those wicked smiles back on their lips. Tune buried his head into the crook of Tulip’s shoulder again and rutted up against her like a creature in heat, her breasts bouncing with each thrust. Her fingers worked wildly against her clit as Mituna groaned and stilled, slamming himself into her once more before spilling himself inside her. Tulip shuddered and her thighs went tense. Tune gave a whine as her fingers slowed, her hips grinding smoothly down against him now. She sighed out one word on her climax;

“Come.”

Kankri didn’t have to be told twice; watching them come in tandem made him gasp, arching up. He saw stars as he came for the first time of his own volition, hips bucking, back arched and legs spread. His eyes fluttered shut as he was hit with a wall of pure pleasure, gripping the seat and groaning. 

For a moment, everything went white. 

Kankri’s vision came back to him slowly as he slumped, boneless, into the seat of the confessional. Tune and Tulip were likewise slack, leaning against the walls and watching him as they caught their breath. Then, finally, Tulip giggled a giddy post-orgasmic little giggle.

“Tuney,” She said softly. “Tuney, we don’t even know his  _ name. _ ”

Kankri blinked, his eyes widening when he realized he didn’t know theirs either. He’d been going off nicknames this whole time. “Kankri,” He said, still a little breathless and dazed. “I-I’m Kankri Vantas.”

The two of them laughed. Tune nuzzled into the crook of Tulip’s neck, still idly fondling her breasts. She didn’t seem to mind too much. “I’m Mituna,” He said. “This gorgeous babe is Latula.” He sing songed her name and she laughed, flustered and blushing, as he pulled her in and kissed her sweetly. Kankri wished it was him kissing Mituna - or Latula - hell, both of them. 

Wait….why couldn’t be?

He got up, rearranging himself  and tucking himself back into his robes - which were thankfully unstained, though he’d have to clean the confessional before he left - and got out of the small chamber. He opened the door to theirs and they looked up at him, all warmth and bliss and invitation. Slowly, nervously, he closed the door behind him. 

These booths were not meant to hold three people at once, but Kankri made it work, leaning down as he stood to first kiss Mituna, and then Latula. Mituna was demanding and eager and hot while Latula was soft and gentle and warm, and Kankri adored both. He wanted more. 

When he pulled away from them, they looked up at him and his blushing face, both of them smiling brightly. “D’you…” Mituna started, then poked Latula’s ribs lightly. She squeaked. 

“Babe!” She said, then laughed. She couldn’t be mad. “Tuney wants to know if you want to do this….thing again.”

“Or dinner!” Mituna piped up. “ ‘m not ALWAYS horny. Just eighty percent of the time.” He snickered at himself.

Kankri flushed, leaning against the door of the confessional. This was not how he expected his encounter with his two temptors to end. Yet, somehow, he thought this was definitely the better ending. He bit his lip as they stood up, and he let all three of them out of the confessional.

“I have some time free, I believe,” He murmured softly. 

They both grinned in triumph. Their game was a tie.


End file.
